


The lady Dis´s story

by TheSarcasticNazgul



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Baby!Fili, Battle of Five Armies, Death, F/M, I´m so sorry, Kind of AU, Mild Smut, Pregnancy, Thorin Is an Idiot, Vili is the sweetest, at least in the begining, baby!Kili, dis husband, i will rewrite the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-03-31 07:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3969369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSarcasticNazgul/pseuds/TheSarcasticNazgul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Dis handling her husband's death and her sons marching upon Erebor.</p><p>Focusing on the pairing of Dis and her husband but there will be mentions of bagginshield.</p><p>*UPDATE 12/5 2017 WILL NOT BE FINISHED, AT LEAST NOT IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone will point this out i will say it. What i have written regarding the age of the characters is not based on any truth but my own imagination. 
> 
> As always i do not own the hobbit or the lord of the rings or their characters
> 
> son - inùdoy  
> mother - ‘amad  
> father - 'adad  
> sister - namad  
> brother - nadad  
> Ghivashel - treasure of all treasure

 

”Dis my love, what's the matter?” Dis avoided Vilis eyes and turned away. He sighed and grabbed hold if her shoulders.

“Dis, tell me what’s wrong? Is it the child?” She just shook her head, refusing to talk. Vili went down on his knees and put his fingers under Dis chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. They were not filled with sorrow or pain, but with anger. Vili let go of her chin and backed off. He knew that face and it was not to be played with. Facing the window closed his eyes.

“Apparently I have wronged you my love, but I can't right it if I don't know what I did.” He now turned again to find his wife staring into his eyes, crying. The anger that he just saw, were nowhere to be found. Again he found himself on the ground beside her, staring into her blue eyes. He took her face in his hands and kissed her gently. The kiss tasted of her tears and she whimpered when he broke it off.

“Tell me.” He whispered. His eyes hadn't let go off hers and she couldn’t look away.

 

“I… I heard you talking with my brothers.” She couldn’t stand it anymore, she had to look away.

“You spoke of what to come. Of war and victory. of the battle at Azanulbizar.” She now returned her eyes to her husband´s and she knew she was right for in his eyes, she saw the same pain that she felt in her heart.

 

“You cannot deny it, can you? It is true; you will join them on their insane quest to reclaim Kazad-dum, won’t you?” Vili could not bear to look into his wife´s eyes, for he knew that she would persuade him to stay. He stood up and walked towards the other end of the room. She followed him and laid her arms around him. Her bump got in the way bur she did not care. She would cradle every single moment left, for she feared what was to come.

 

Silence filed the room as the couple stood there. Vili kissed Dis hand and then turned around. Tears were now streaming down her cheeks and he kissed them away. She put her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands fond themselves to the bump that grew bigger each day and then he looked deep into her eyes.

 

“I´m sorry my love, but I have to go.” She couldn´t bring her to speak, she just shook her head. Her lips trembled and her hands shook. This was too much for Vili, he pressed his lips hard against hers, and putting all the anger and sorrow he felt into the kiss. She clanged herself to him, planning to never let go. They hit the wall and he to comfort from the wall behind her and she let out a soft moan. The moan woke him up and he broke of the kiss.

 

“No,  my love. I can´t” her eyes were heart breaking but he knew he could not stay.

“I´m truly sorry, but I have to follow your brothers into that fight. I want our children to grow up in their home, as princes and princesses. I cannot give them that here.” He kissed her hand.

“We don’t need all that. A home is what we say it is not what anyone else says it is. We are happy here Vili. We will thrive here, be happy and grow old together.”

 

“And so we shall, within the walls of Kazhadum, my love. We will grow old together and see how Fili and Kili grow older, teasing their little sister.” At this he put his hands on the bump that gave a kick to confirm that she felt the presence.

 

“And so we shall, if you return to me, but what if you don’t. What if you fall and will leave me all alone? I cannot raise our children alone, Vili, I just can’t. They will need their father to learn the way of the world.” She put her hands above his, feeling their child kicking like a maniac.

“And they will have their father there, I promise you, I will return to you, and our children.” HE pulled her into a close hug, feeling the tears streaming down her cheeks, wetting his skirt.

 

“I promise you.” His own tears now ran down his cheeks and none of them could bring themselves to move.

 

The following days went by in a blur. Dis didn´t know if she cried because of Vili leaving or the child, perhaps both. The day before departure she found herself walking the corridor of her brother, thorin. She was about to leave, for she had no desire to speak with him, it would only end in tears. Just as she had spun around she heard a door open.

 

“Namad? What are you doing here?” Thorins powerful voice sounded surprised, he knew very well that Dis was angry with him. She took a deep breath and then turned.

 

“My intentions where not to confront you, but as it would seem, I have no choice.” She took a step closer to thorin who know understood what was to come. He just stood in silence, waiting for his sister to speak first. In her eyes Thorin could only find anger and disappointment.

 

“Nadad, I only have one question for you; why? Why my husband?” her anger did not shine thru, but it was clear to Thorin that he had hurt her deeply.

 

“Sister dear, you off all people know that Vili is one of our best fighters. We will need him to win this battle. And I promise you that I will return him in one piece. And besides, we will need someone who is good with Feren. You know how fond Feren is of Vili.” She stared at him in disbelief. Little did he know of his sister’s wraith.

 

“You are bringing Feren?” Her voice was unstable but Thorin did not pay any attention to this.

 

“Yes,  why wouldn´t I? He is old enough, is he not?” Thorin did not observe his sister as close as he should have, for now she could barely contain her anger.

 

“Well then, why don´t you bring Fili along as well? I mean, sure he is still a boy but he will learn, will he not?” She spat out. At this Thorin looked up, he knew how much her boys meant for her.

 

“Namad what are you saying? Why would you...?” He was silenced by her eyes and was forced to look away.

 

“I´m sorry Dis, that I will take your husband with me, but I really have no other choice. I will need every available dwarf and dwarrow to win this battle.” He now dared to look up again, only to find Dis close to tears. She could claim all day it was because that Vili is leaving, he knew that the child affected her.

 

“We do not need to live in Khazad-dum. We have a good life here, a respectable life. You will only march to death and ruin, nadad. Please, stop this madness before it is too late.” She looked at her brother with begging eyes. He shook his head.

 

“You know I can´t. We will leave at first light. I´m so sorry sis.” He looked down and begun  to walk pass her. She stood in silence, letting him pass, but then called out for him.

 

“Then bring me with you! I cannot stay behind and wait for the new of my husband´s or brother’s death. It is not in my blood Thorin.” He stopped and slowly turned. With two long steps he was with her and he pulled her into a warm hug. She tried to protest but her brothers hold was like iron. He broke free and grabbed her hands.

 

“Namad, you are by far the best warrior I have ever meet, but you are not in a state of combat.” He put his hand on her belly and to prove his point, the child kicked his hand. He smiled sadly at her and as her tears begun to flow again he pressed his lips to her forehead.

 

“You must stay here and take care of yourself, of Fili and Kili and you child to come. How do you think Vili would react if you got hurt in the battlefield and lost your child, or even worse, your life?” She tried to speak again but was broken off by her brother.

 

“No namad. You must stay here. That is the end of it.” He looked at her and she was silenced by his eyes.  She just nodded and pulled him into another hug.

 

“Bring them back  to me, thorin, bring Vili and Feren back to me.” She whispered in his ear before she walked of to her own chambers, tears still streaming down her face,

 

 

***

 

“Dis? Is that you my love?” Vili´s voice came from Fili and Kili´s room. She smiled and followed it. When she peaked into the room she found her husband sitting on his oldest son´s bed,  retelling the story of Erabor, the boys favourite story. Kili had already fallen asleep but Fili was very much awake.

 

“When all hope was abandoned, we turned to the elfs of mirkwood and…”

 

“That’s the end  of that story.” Dis interrupted as she entered the room., she did not like this wrath against the elfs being placed in her sons minds in such a early age. “Even princes of Erabor have to go to sleep.” She walked to Filis bed and tucked him in, finishing with a kiss on the forehead.  “Good night my little lion.” She whispered softly.

“Good night amad. “ Fili yawned and Vili kissed him on the forehead, just s his wife had. She  heard him whiser _good night my warior_ and she smiled at the sight of them tighter. Fili would grow up as a exact replica of his father, of this she was sure. Vili blew out the candel but they let the fading fire burn. They left the room and Dis collapsed against the wall as soon as the door was shut.

 

“Ghivashel? My love what´s the matter?” She felt Vilis worried hands on her face but she could not bring herself to open her eyes. She held out her hand and he took it in perplexment. She pulled him down to sit beside her, with her eyes still shut. Vili did not rest but sat himself down in front of her, caressing her arms. When it stood clear to him that she would not talk anytime soon he moved beside her and pulled her in into an embrace. Slowly he began to sing as his hand massaging her back. Her sobs got more intense and soon she had to sit up straight to get air.

 

“My love, oh my one. Can you not tell me what's the matter?” his hands lay still on her back as she turned to him with red eyes. The crying had made her face red and a bit swollen, but the only thing Vili saw was the pain and sorrow in her eyes. With a trembling voice she began to speak.

 

“You my love, you are what´s the matter. You and my infernal brothers are leaving me tomorrow.” Her sobs took over again and he took her into his arms again. Rocking from side to side he spoke softly.

 

“I thought that we had spoken of this. We agreed on that I would leave and return again. No harm will come to me or your brothers, I promise you.” At this she broke free and stared into his eyes.

 

“How can you promise something you cannot know for sure. You march with all odds against you and yet, all off you tries to persuade me that all will be fine, which it will not.” She punched him in the chest for each word in the end. He grabbed her wrist and held them  hard, for although she was pregnant, she was still  as strong as an ox.

 

“Listen to me and listen carefully. You are right in that that I do not know if I will return, but I know that I will do everything in my power to come back to you my love. And that is all that matter. I do not care if we concur the world if you will not be waiting for me at home. All I wish is to live my entire life with you, for you are the one single person that means the most to me.   So do not come to me and speak of despair and death, for I know at which odds we march, but I cannot think like that. I will not think like that”. She lowered her arms and looked down.

 

“I am sorry; I did not think clearly my love.” Her voice lacked the lifelines it usually had and her eyes did not glisten when his meet hers. HE realised that she was already mourning his death. He lowered himself so that he may look into her eyes.

 

“I am not dead yet. And we yet have time until we must sleep.”  He saw the smallest of smiles on her lips, but for him it was enough, for she had not smiled since she had found out off this conquest. He took her face in his hands and pulled her into a deep kiss, a kiss calling for more. It seemed as if she gained power from the kiss, for as longer it went on, the higher she held her head. When they broke off the kiss he saw a spark lit inside of her eyes and she took the role of command. He stood up, helping his pregnant wife to her feet’s, only to be rewarded with a hungry kiss. Her lips craved for more and she pushed him towards their bed as she already had begun to undress him. His hands found the lacing in the back and quickly begun to undo it. Dis gave a short laughter as Vili gave a low muttering swearing as the lacing got tangled up. He tried his best for a few moments but decided to just rip it off instead. With a satisfying sound the dress was torn in two and Vili threw the pieces away. When his  eyes found his wife´s again, they were glowing with lust. He went down on his knees and began to kiss her belly, that already was big enough to cause trouble. She let out a moan as his lips travelled down her belly sucked at her navel that stood out. Without any warning he trusted his fingers into her forcing her to gasp in awe. He slowly pulled them out again, earning a squeak of lust only plunged them fast back again. He repeated the torture and Dis was getting inpatient.

“Ghivashel, I cant wait any more, I need you now.” Vili slowly stood up caressing the skin on the way, stopping at her breast.  She whimpered for they were sore thanks to the milk they were creating. Vili noticed this and put his lips to one of the nipples. Just the touch of his lips made Dis legs weak but when he began to suck it felt like they no longer existed. She could no loner hold back but screamed out in pure pleasure. Vili had to comfort her with his arms around her back and he felt their child kicking against his stomach. He let go of the nipple and begun to kiss her collarbone, making his way up to her mouth. She answered his hungry kiss and tug her hand in his golden mane of locks. Without breaking the kiss she turned them around only to push him down in the bed. His startled gasp only made her even wet and she knew that she had to have him like right now. She undid the lacing in his trousers and pulled them of. Gazing up she meet his eyes, slowly crawling her way up to his face. She bent down in a deep and lustful kiss and put his hand on her sore breast. She had to break of the kiss to moan out and this only urged Vili to squeeze harder. She position her above his cock and took in in a firm grasp. Without waiting for his agreement she slid down on it, filling herself with him. They both gasped in pleasure and Dis is somewhat pain, for it had been a while and she was tighter than ever. Vili on the other hand saw no downside with this. He began to thrust furiously still squeezing her breasts. She let out a long moan before meeting his thrusts, making the climax closer and closer. _Ah! Ah! AAH! VILI!_ She usually was very good with keeping her voice down but tonight she let go of everything. Her screams of pleasure echoed throughout the hall and she begged for mercy. But Vili had no plan of granting this request. He only fasten his pace and he felt how close she was. Dis could not move anymore, she only waited for the wave of pleasure that awaited her. Vili rose up only to begin to suck her nipple again and this drove her made. With her head drawn back she let out a scream louder than the other as she rode out the wave of pleasure. She had thought that he would slow down his pace at this but instead his pace fastened. His thrusts were so powerful and filled with lust pain arose in her lower section. She watch as he hit his climax and thrust in one last time extra hard and then fell back on the bed. She only wished to lay down on top of him, but he belly prevented that. Instead she slid of his cock and made her way to him. She pressed her lips to his sweaty forehead and then lay down beside him. He put his arm around her and returned the forehead kiss. He only broke of the embrace to pull up a blanket to keep them from the cold. Dis hand followed the line of his beard all the way to his braids in his moustache. He grabbed her hand and placed it above his beating heart.

 

“Do you feel how steady it beats?” She nodded.” It beats only for you my love.  And with her hand still on his chest they fell into a sleep the had not experienced in a long time.

 

***

 

“Dis? Wake up ghivashel.” Vilis soft voice woke her up. It was stil dark, but Vili was already dressed. Dressed for combat. The pain and sorrow from yesterday returned to her heart, for now she had to say good bye. She sat up as fast as she could with her belly and then got out of bed to find something to wear. She took the first thing she found, which was a jade green dress with gold details. The belly made the dress fall quite beautifully, but she did not really care. Her husband was leaving together with her brothers. She did not even take a look in the mirror to find out in which state it was but ran to her husband´s warm arms. She let out a low cry of despair as she felt how her heart was already breaking apart.

 

“you do not need to come down to say goodbye to everyone. You can stay here and go back to sleep.” He presses a kiss on top of her head before she broke apart.

 

“Both my brother, my father and grandfather are leaving and you speak of sleeping? Oh, my dearest Vili, do not ever change.” And with that she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards their children´s room. “But first there is someone you must say good bye to. She opened the door and found their children wide awake. Kili´s eyes only spoke of joy but Fili´s seemed somewhat sadder.

 

“Where are adad going 'amad?” His little brother signalled that he wanted to be lift up so Dis picked him up.

 

“He is going on an adventure, just like in the stories we tell you every night.” Dis tried to speak with a voice full of joy and happiness but failed miserably at it. It trembled and was weak. She was once again close to tears but smiled when Vili laid his hand on her shoulder.

 

“What 'amad is trying to say is that I will be gone for a while.” He picked up Fili and popped him on his nose. “So you big man, have to take care of your mother and brother until I come back.” Fili´s eyes grew to the size of teacups and his lower lip began to tremble.

 

“But, I am not big enough adad. I´m only fifteen.” His clear voice was so full of innocent Dis felt how the tears threatened again. Vili´s smile faded.

 

“You will not always be, my son.” Fili nodded and shined with happiness.

 

“Of course father,  I will take care of the until you return. Don´t worry.” Vili  laughed and put him down.  “Oh I don’t. They are in very good hands.” He looked up at his wife and grabbed her free hand.

 

“Come on, let’s go down.” Together they walked in the halls, slowly, so that they may enjoy every moment. But all too soon they arrived to the gate were the army stood. In the gate her family stood. She gave Kili to Vili and let go of his hand. With tears burning she ran to them and hugged her father as tight as her belly allowed her. The tears were now unstoppable and she whispered in her father´s ear that she loved him. When she turned around to hug her grandfather she caught a glimpse of thorin speaking with Vili. She kissed the king on his cheeks and he kissed hers. In their embrace he said to her that no man could be more worthy of her than her husband, which of course came as a surprise since Thror have always been against Vili. When she felt a knock on the shoulder she spun around to find her youngest brother standing there.

 

“Have I not been polished enough to shine like silver in the sun?” His armour did indeed shine like silver, although it might have been made for another man. Dis gave a short laugh that ended in a sob. She pulled her baby brother into a hug as her sobbing got worse. Frerin tried to break off but Dis was too strong. She felt like her heart was about to shatter into a million pieces.

“ah, come on, it was supposed to be funny, you silly woman. You are no fun since you became a walking horde of hormones.” Dis finally broke off the hug and punched his arm.

 

“Am I laughing, nadad mine? War is not a joke.” She  said firmly. Frerin´s laughter died out.  He looked down, as if he was ashamed but then the smile returned.

 

“See, you are no fun, being like this.” As he said this he backed away as fast as he could, avoiding another punch, laughing at the sametime.  Naturally Dis joined in in the laughter but they were interrupted by a dark voice.

 

“Clearly I missed the funny part.” Dis spun around to find Thorin standing with open arms. She did not need any more invitations, she flung herself into his arms and once again her bump got in the way. She was crying ´till the point she could not see clearly.

 

“nadad, promise me that you will bring them back to me, promise me that. I cannot live in a world where they do not exist.” Her crying made it difficult to get the words out but he heard her.

 

“And what about me little namad? Don't you wish for me to return? Can you truly live without me?” he gave a little smirk and she held him tighter.

 

“Nadad, I known you will return for no one would dare to go up against you.” She smiled thru her tears and felt how Thorin's chest vibrated of laughter.

 

“If they only knew you wrath, they would not fear me, little sister.” She broke of the embrace and tried to dry her tears.

 

“Dis?” She needed not to turn around to know who stood behind her, for she would know that voice anywhere. The tears that had stopped were now filling her eyes again. She made several attempts to speak but her voice failed her. He tried to pull her in but she refused.

 

“Vili. Don't.“   His hands found her hair and she gave in. Her sobs shook her so greatly they echoed thru Vili. His hands tangled in her hair as he clinched to her as hard as he possibly could. Dis tears watered his shoulder and his, her hair. They stood still, neither one of them being able to bring themselves to speak. Dis broke free and found her husband´s eyes. She took his face in her palms and pulled him down in a kiss filled with sorrow and despair. Dis wished for it to never end, wished for everything to go away. Vili broke off the kiss only to gaze into his wife´s blue eyes.  He pressed his lips to her temple and the whispered in her ear; “I will return to you my love. This will not be our last time together. “ She found herself believing his words.  He kissed Kili on his dark haired head and gave him to his mother. Vili went down on his knees to pull his oldest son into a crushing hug.

 

“Fili, you are not a little boy anymore. You are the man in the house now.”  As he broke of the hug Dis heard how he whispered in their son´s ear _take care of your mother if something were to happen to me, will you do that for me?_ She saw how Fili nodded at this and Vili gave a smile and a pat on Fili´s shoulder. He stood up and met his wife´s sad eyes.  

“We will return within three weeks.” He had to look away, for his wife´s eyes burned and then turned to join the others. Dis could not control her crying anymore and felt how her legs failed her.  Fili whom already had taken on the role as protector of his mother lay his arm round her shoulders and Dis leaned on him to find comfort and support now when all hope had abandoned her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh no, something bad is about to happen, but what? How will Dis react to the news of her husband?

Life went on in Ered Luin and Dis hope grew stronger each day. Fili played with his brother and looked after his mother. The baby caused her quite a lot of pain and she often woke up in the middle of the night in tears, finding the other side of the bed empty. It was times like these she went to her son's’ room and watched them sleep peacefully. More than once Fili had woken up and without any words dragged her to his bed, and the fallen back to sleep. When two weeks had passed she did not sleep on her own, but only with her oldest son. Fili laughed when his sister kicked his back and Dis smiled for the first time since Vili left. The next day she found herself in the hallway of her brother, not unlike the day before the departure. Dis stopped at Thorins door, hesitant for a moment but then she entered with on hand on her belly. She still had four months left but the babe was strong and it made her weak. Thorins room was much as it ever was in Ered Luin. Chaotic and yet empty and no jewellery. Dis hadn't asked him, but she knew that he was afraid to catch the sickness that their grandfather had in Erebor. Slowly she walked thru the room, not knowing what she was searching for. She stopped at his desk where she found envelope with her name on it. The princess picked the letter up with a frowning face, for she recognised her youngest brother´s handwriting. The letter was sealed with the Durin´s crest, which only made it clearer that it was her brothers doing. She sat down at Thorins bed opening the envelope. Two permanents fell out and she picked one up.

 

_Dearest namad._

_I write this in case something would happen on the battlefield at Kahzadum. Although I have no reason to believe it will I thought it best to make sure you got to know what I am about to write to you._

_My letter will contain two things, one which you must keep a secret from everyone, including your sons and husband._

_Firstly, our father is sick. Not the glodsickness, no, but a darkness has spread in his heart and I fear that he will leave us soon, if we survive the battle. He did not handle mother´s death well and I think we all have known this for a while. I know you would like me to give you some evidences I have none but my memory. Not two weeks ago I caught him studding a map of middle earth, and it had strange markings on it sister, markings as if a path already had been made. I cannot say where it leads, for as you know I´m not the best student and geography is not my strongest side. Do not be concerned sis, but I thought that someone must know and you are the most sensible person I know…_

_But to my other subject, and this concerns your husband. Don´t worry, I have nothing bad to say and nor wish I you anything bad._

_He truly loves you namad. I ever thought that I would say this but he truly does and I cannot think of anyone more worthy of you. I am truly sorry that we will marsh out tomorrow and that Vili will march with us. You have my word that I will do my very best to bring him home to you._

_Take good care sister and I truly hope I can tell you all of this in person soon._

_Frerin son of Tharin son of Thror; King under the Mountain._

Dis did not know what to think. Sure, it made sense; her father had been very distance lately. But could he really bring himself to leave what family he had left? No, she could not believe what her brother had written. At least not the part regarding her father. The part regarding her husband she had no trouble to believe. She had known from the first time she meet him that he loved her and she him. But all these confessions, first her grandfather and now her brother, made her a bit uneasy. It was almost like they knew something she did not. Like Vili would not return to her. Dis pushed away the thought and picked up the second letter. Once again she recognised the writing, only that this was the writing of her husband.  With a lump in her throat she began to read it.

 

_Givashel, my love, my One, my Dis._

_This letter is one I had hoped to never write. Frerin said to me that I should write one if I were to fall…_

 

Dis lowered the letter with tears in her eyes.  For the longest time she did not move, trying to decide if she should read on or not. A kick from her child woke her up and she stared at the letter and the folded it. To read something he intended for her to read when he had fallen, that was not something she would like. Off that she was sure. She arose from the bed, with somewhat difficulty and walked to the desk. She resealed the envelope and put it back where she found it.  She whipped away the tears that were shining on her cheeks. With her head held high she walked out and closed the door. With firm steps she walked towards the kitchen, for she heard her boys playing there. She peaked thru the half closed door and smiled. Fili lay on the floor, his face distorted with laughter. Not far from him Kili sat with cabbage in his hands and two messy braids in his black hair, no doubt the work of his older brother. She wanted t freeze that moment and have it last forever, but Fili had gotten sight of her.

 

“Amad!” He quickly got up and ran to her to cling on to her legs, leaning his head on her bump. Fili was followed by his brother, whom now knew how to crawl, but not walk. Dis bent down to pick Kili up and give him a smacking kiss on his cheek. His simile warmed her heart and she took Filis hand and begun to walk towards their chambers.

 

“Let´s go to bed.” To answer her statement Kili yawned and laid his head on her collarbone. She pressed a kiss on top off his head and opened the door to their room. She walked into the boys room and lay down Kili in his bed. He had almost fallen asleep, so she tucked him in very carefully. When she turned around she found Fili standing in the door, face turned away.

 

“Fili, are you alright sweetie?” She walked closer to him, frowning when she did not get an answer. With somewhat trouble she went down on her knees, taking Fili´s small hands into hers.

 

“My darling, what is the matter?”  He still did not look at her, instead he pulled back his hands. Dis troubled eyes tried to find her son´s, so she pushed his golden locks behind his ear only to find him crying.

 

“Oh my darling. My sweet little lion.” She said as she pulled him into a tight hug. Dis felt how her son shimmered with sobs and pulled him down as she sat herself down. Slowly she rocked from side to side, holding Fili close to her heart, much like Vili had before he left.

 

Remotely they sat in silence until Fili broke free. He dried his tears and gazed at his mother with determined eyes. Dis stroke his chin but he shook her hand of.

 

“Adad is not coming home is he?” His eyes were only seeking the truth and even though she wanted to tell him the truth, she did not know what it was. She only knew one think and that was that she could not bring herself to make him any sadder than he already was.

 

“Of course he is, inùdoy. He is coming back to us, just as he promised, do you remember?” Fili nodded but Dis knew he was not convinced.

 

“But amad, if he is coming home, why are you crying every night when you think I have fallen asleep?” His eyes held sorrow and a burden no fifteen years old should bear. She did not answer him, but pulled him in o that she could press a kiss on his forehead. He pulled away again, demanding an answer.

 

“Amad, please?” Dis looked down. She knew she had to tell him something but saying that his father might not return, she feared it would come true if she said the words out load.

 

“My darling Fili, I´m not crying because I think I will lose you adad, I´m crying because I miss him. And because your sister makes me very emotional.” She smiled at him and bopped his nose. He looked confused, as in awe he lay his head on the side, like a little puppy not understanding.

 

“Emotiial? What does that mean amad?” Dis chuckled at his pronation.

 

“It means that I am much more likely to cry. And just because I cry doesn't mean I am sad.” _Although in this case it is because I am._ Dis thought as she assured her son that everything was alright.

 

“Come inùdoy, it is time for the prince of Erabor to sleep.” Fili lit up by the addressing and ran to his bed. A prince must to as his mother command, at least until the reach their twenties. Dis followed her son, a bit slower and tucked him and giving him a kiss on his temple. She then walked to Kili and gave him a kiss as well. When she was about to close the door her eldest son spoke.

 

“Are you not going to sleep with me, amad?” She smiled and answered him softly; “No my little lion, I think I´ll sleep in my own bed tonight. Good night.” As the door was almost shut a thin voice answered her _“Good night amad, I love you.”_ With the door completely closed she whispered; “and I you, my brave little boy.”

 

Dis slept well that night, without any nightmares of war and death and when morning came she was awoken by her old friend Svala.

 

“Good morning, your highness.” Struggling to get her eyes open, Dis did not see her boys sneaking up to her bed.

 

“Svala, could you bring me some water? I so terribly thirsty.” Savla only nodded and left the room. The sun was shining thru her window and she sat up to look outside. Just as Dis was about to get out of bed Fili jumped up from the floor with a battle cry on his lips, or at least it was intended to be a battle cry, but from a fifteen years old the effect wasn´t the same. Never the less Dis acted scared but when she heard a soft little _boo_ from the floor she could not stop herself from laughing. She looked down to find Kili siting on the floor, demanding to be lift up. Dis bent down as far as her bump let her and picked up her youngest son. In the meantime Fili had climbed up and now crawled to his mother. They sat back in her bed, letting the sun warm their faces. Fili got a bit restless and started to braid his mother´s hair as she begun to hum a soft melody. Fili’s fingers worked softly in her hair

 

“’Amad, when will I get to wear claps in my hair. I want claps just like yours when I’m old enough.”

 She smiled and was about to answer him but was interrupted by the door opening. Dis expected it to be Svala how returned with water but was surprised to hear Noris voice. Her smile faded when she saw his face, for it spoke not of happiness or joy, but despair and agony. She lifted kili and sat him down beside his brother.

 

“Nori, what is it?” She looked down and she now stood up and walked to him, laying a hand beneath his shin, lifting his gaze to her eyes.

 

“Tell me child, what is it?”

 

It took Nori several minutes to regain his voice.

 

“They have returned.” Dis face lit up like the sun, she spoke as she began to run to the door.

 

“Then why oh why little Nori do you look so sad?” In her excitement she did not look back to hear Nori’s answer.

 

“You will find out for yourself, soon enough, my Queen.”

 

As Dis ran her unborn child kicked in protest and somewhere behind her, she heard her sons follow her. If Dis had been in her right mind she would have stopped and helped them but her mind was set elsewhere, on her husband’s glorious return.

The halls of Ered Luin seemed longer than they ever had. At long last she arrived to the gate only to find her friends gaze forward with horror in their eyes.  As her eyes travelled towards the source of this horror she suddenly understood. Slowly walking towards them a company of at the most fifty dwarfs was moving towards them.

An army in numbers that where countless, for the power of one dwarf could not be measured, less ten thousands. Fear found its way back into her heart again as the wounded company came closer. With searching eyes she walked to meet them, not hearing her sons calling out for her.. Her heart let out a scream of joy when she saw her friends Balin and Dwalin in the front. _At least they made it._ She walked faster to find herself hugging Balin, whom looked as if his heart had been ripped out.

“Where is he?” Was all she could say. When she did not get an answer form Balin she turned her head to Dwalin, demanding an answer. His eyes avoided hers and somehow she already knew the answer. After all, she had been preparing for this day since Vili left. Dis begun to back away and shook her head, for in the crowd of blood drenched dwarfs she now saw her eldest brother walking towards her,  and his eyes where filed with more sorrow any dwarf could bear.

“No.” She whispered as Thorin came closer. “Don’t you dare say it. Don’t you dare.” He tried to pull her onto an embrace but she broke free.

 

“Where is my husband, Thorin?” Where is he?” Panic begun to rise inside of her and her throat was swollen. Her voice was filled with anger and despair, loud enough to draw attention to her and her brother.

 

“Namad, please.”  Thorin’s voice was weak, of exhaustion or sorrow could not be known. Tears were to be found in his eyes, and even though Dis knew her brother never cried, she did not care for his tears. Thorin once again tried to pull her into an embrace and this time he succeeded. Over and over she whispered in denial that Vili was truly alive and well.  Thorin held her tight and let out some of his sorrow into the tears he now let stream freely.  But to soon he broke of the embrace to stare into his sisters eyes, for she had to hear the words, otherwise she would go on living in her world of denial.

 

“Namad dear, you know what I am about to say, but you need to hear me say it.” Her eyes gazed away as she shook her head. He turned her head so that he may look into her eyes.

 

“Vili, he did not make it.” Dis had expected those words for so long, yet it felt like a thousand knifes stabbing her in her heart. She fell to her knees and thorin followed her down, taking her hands into his, for it was more to tell.

 

“Dis, he died… He sacrificed himself to save Frerin.” At this she looked up and Thorin thought that he saw the smallest of glimmer of hope in her eyes.

 

“Frerin? Where is he nadad?” Where is our brother?”  At this Thorin had to look away, for the

pain was to near, to great, and thus he did not see Dis face when it dawned to her that Frerin had been lost to. Thorin was brought back by Filis light voice.

 

“Uncle Thorin!” Filis voice was filled with so much joy; Thorin had to smile when he saw his oldest nephew running towards him, carrying his brother.  Dis had not seen them, nor heard their voices. She let out a scream of hurt and loss, which rose in strength. Thorin would not like anything better than to hold her tight and comfort her broken heart, but her sons was in as much need in comfort as she was. She had just lost her husband and brother while they also were about to lose their mother. Thorin was about to run to their aid, but stopped himself when he saw that Dwalin picked them up and walked away, towards the gate. Thorin thanked the stars for Dwalin’s sharp eyes, and his brother as well when Balin walked towards him to aid Thorin in Dis misery. Just as Balin arrived to the Dis screaming stopped and then she lay her hands on her belly. For a minute everything seemed to freeze, the Dis face was distorted in pain as she screamed again, only this time it was not because the loss of her loved ones. Thorin had heard her scream like that before, and it was when his nephews were born.

_Oh mahal, this cannot happen now, of all times._

 

Bali whom also had understood what was happening saw how Thorin now was about to go completely blank of shock. He shook Thorins shoulder and he snapped out of it.

 

“Thorin, where is Dori? We need him.” Thorin watched Balin with fear as he remembered whom had stayed at Kahzad-dum. He grabbed his friend by the arm and spoke with fear in his voice.  


“Balin, he stayed behind in Kahzad-dum to help with the wounded.” Balin looked up at Throin with the same fear in his eyes as Thorin had. They were snapped back by Dis scream of pain and somewhere Thorin heard Fili scream in protest, probably because he wanted to aid his mother, whom seemed to be in such pain. Dis grabbed Thorin’s arm, pulling him down.

 

“Nadad, don’t leave me. “ She got out between her gasping’s. Thorin only stared helps at balin and mouthed; _What am I supposed to do?_

 

“”Thorin, lift her up and take her to her chamber.” Thorin nodded at this proposal and bent down to pick his sister up.

 

“No, Vili isn’t here.” She tried to stop him, and thorin gazed to Balin for support. He nodded in responed and with that he picked up his protesting sister.

 

“Namad, Vili is not coming back. You cannot wait to deliver this baby until he returns for he will not.” Thorin spoke with determination, but saw who Dis floated further away, slowly giving up on the life she had been blessed with.

 

“Namad?” Thorin shook her body as he walked, to get any reaction, but he only accomplished a few whispers about how Vili would return.

 

Balin opened the door to her chamber and Thorin lay her down on her bed. She whimpered in pain and her eyes shut.  Thorin squeezed her hand and was about to get up but felt how Dis hand held him down.

 

“Nadad. Don´t leave me like they did. Do not leave me alone in this misery.” Dis voice was barley a whisper and yet the pain and sorrow was stronger than ever. Thorin turned his head to Balin.

 

“Balin, what are we supposed to do?” His friend looked with dr p eaded eyes back. Just as his sister knew that her husband where gone, Thorin knew what the answer would be.

 

“You Thorin, you are going to deliver the baby.”


End file.
